Do

Random Acts of Kindness

Kindness is a given when bestowed on friends and family. Kindness to strangers is more significant. The acts can be small or large, but when the opportunity presents itself- take whenever you can.

I was the recent recipient of two very kind acts. They were not big in the sense that a stranger paid off my student loans with there lotto winnings or saved my life through CPR, but they made very large impacts on me. I will always remember these and I will always be grateful.

One
Two weeks ago I bought my first pair of sunglasses that cost over $20. I purchased them for an upcoming trip to Florida and was rushing around on my lunch break to get them. On my way out of the mall, even though I did not need a pretzel and it might make me even more late, I just could not resist it. However, in a mad rush to get to work and devour my pretzel, I forgot my sunglasses.

I was sure I left them lying on the floor at Macy’s when I bent down and dropped my bags to get out my keys and put my gloves on. A call to Macy’s was fruitless. I then thought that they must be sitting on the pretzel place counter- and sure enough after I contacted the store they found them.

While shopping I had placed two letters I intended to mail- one my daughter wrote (her first letter) to my friends daughter in Arizona, the other contained a $300 check to pay for our first dog. The manager of the store asked if the return address was mine. Indeed it was and he reveled that he lives a few blocks from me and offered to deliver my bag and letters to my house when he got off of work.

Sure enough, around 8 PM he showed and I had my glasses. This was a great kindness and I really felt guilty with nothing more than a thank you as a reward.

Two
In Florida, I was vacationing with family at Disney World. There were seven of use and we were going to a show on a park campus that was not a main Disney stop. We did not know the transportation system well and when we got on a main bus and casually told the driver about the dinner show we were going to, he informed us that we were headed in the wrong direction, the wrong building in fact. Not only that, but given the time and the series of bus hops we needed to make, we most likely were not going to make our show.

As we were the only ones on the bus he changed his own route and offered to take us to our first stop. While driving he gave us numerous tips on what to go see in the area the show was taking place. When we got to our stop he realized that the bus that was supposed to take us further along was just pulling out, he informed us that the next one was 20 minutes away, which would make us a little over 15 minutes late.

He stopped the bus, and got out to see which direction the other bus was turning- just to make sure it was the right one. He got back on and saying “Yup, that was your bus”, then put his bus in drive and asked us to never mention what he was about to do. Our series of stops turned into a direct charter to our dinner show.

And the show was fabulous. We did tip him, but money is a small concession for a person’s kindness and the possibility of getting in trouble at work. (While at the show I found out if you arrive more than 15 minutes late your tickets are forfeit and you are not allowed into the show)

Random acts of kindness toward strangers go a long way. They affirm and at times renew faith in humanity. They give the recipient not only the benefit of the act, but the feeling of being cared about and for by a stranger. As I have said, it is easy and expected to be kind to your family and friends. But when a complete stranger goes out of their way to help you; when they make independent decisions to improve your life- there is real value there.

Read

I really enjoy Hardy novels, no not the crime solving brother duo, Thomas Hardy (1840-1928) English novelist. His stories can seem a bit melancholic, but I interpret the negative twists and turns in his plots to be more a reflection of the struggles of the times in which he wrote. I cannot imagine life being easy for the working class tending fields in the country or working 14 hour days in a city factory.

Hardy novels are often social commentary on the Victorian Era in which he lived. Unfortunately, most of his characters suffer as a result of society and its beliefs, and just to clue you in, rarely do even the main characters come out on top, they are at times lucky to make it to the last page alive.

My favorite novel of his, Far From the Madding Crowd is an exception. The story ends happily, for both of the main characters are still giving breath to the pages at the end. Maintaining his literary integrity though, Hardy throws in a couple of tragic situations, deaths, and one graveyard scene.

Please get past the fact that the female lead is named Bathsheba. You could not convince me it was popular in the 1800’s let alone outside the Old Testament. Not so coincidently, the male lead is named Gabriel. Therefore, I am convinced that someone out there in an English Literature class has written a paper analyzing the main characters vs. there biblical counterpart’s stories.

What I like most about the novel is the relationship between the two. Hardy makes them both intelligent and independent. He gives them the freedom to choose their own paths in this book. The characters are unique in that although Bathsheba has many faults (haughty and vain to name a few), you really cannot blame her for them. Given the situations she is in and the time period, they are easily rationalized. Gabriel is very much a stand up kind of guy. Not they fight a duel to the death type, but he is very respectable. At times it seems he has a been given a poor lot, but you feel he is determined to make the best of it.

In short, they are good for each other, perfect even, but you and they have to go through a couple of challenges in life (remember mention of a graveyard scene?)to realize that fact.

Note: Do not EVER read Jude, the Obscure. Honestly, it is just too depressing. I read on Wikipedia that ‘the note’ in the novel is from a real newspaper clipping. I know you are curious. Wikipedia it if you would like your day ruined.

Drink

It is mid-February and about time to start contemplating the effect winter eating has been havocking on our bodies. I do not advocate actually curbing the hearty meals, hot chocolates, or pies and cheesecakes just yet, but entering the pre-contemplation to contemplation phases of dieting and working out might be a good idea about now.

This is a three ingredient smoothie recipe that is pure, simple, guilt-free and delicious. It usually serves as breakfast in summer, but after stepping on the scale two days ago I have started making them early.

The key to this is frozen fruit. It gives the drink a chill and the right consistency.

In a blender place:
1/3 Cup (or three heaping spoon fulls) of low-fat plain or flavored yogurt
1 Cup (or as many pieces as you like) of Frozen Fruit of choice
1/2 Cup (or pour enough to cover the fruit) of Pulp-Free Orange Juice

Blend. If you have a Magic Bullet they work perfect.

Enjoy.

View

Since my first Valentine’s post was not very romantic (one might recall a certain writer being ‘fuming mad’ at her husband) I’ll share this story and beautiful piece of artwork.

The story of how my husband and I eventually ended up in wedded bliss is a bit too long to recall entirely and I would not do the proper justice to in one post. Suffice it to say that my parents nicknamed him ‘the stalker’ when we were in high school. And yes, we did go to the same high school, we were in the same small class in fact, but no, we were not friends.

It was due to my husband’s ardor, which began in 7th grade (as a direct result of a certain pair of shorts in gym class according to him) and continued through senior year, that I quite literally never spoke more than a paragraph to him throughout those six years. His obsession with me was well known in both of our circles and unfortunately, to all of his girlfriends. I would imagine there were a couple of discussions regarding my cankles and/or the sweater I wore nearly every day in those circles (In my defense it was the only way I could spice up our school uniform).

My senior year I was fortunate enough to go on our high school Europe trip. And since I know both of my parents now read this blog- I, Jenny B., for the record, thank you both. Surprise, surprise my husband was also fortunate enough to go on the same trip. We covered France, Switzerland, Austria, Germany, and a small country in-between Switzerland and Austria called Liechtenstein. This trip was one of those life experiences that are burned less in your memory and more in your heart. Although I cannot remember every detail in my mind it only takes a second to remember how it felt.

In Paris, France we visited the Louvre. It is truly a wonder. I am convinced that anyone, even among those who have not been exposed to or like have in interest in art, would feel a reverence for the sheer mass of the human experience encased in that building. It would take at least a week to just view everything completely; in my case I only had a couple of hours.

It was in those hours that wandering alone I came upon a gallery and was drawn to a painting. I stood for a bit staring at it and whether he sought me out or if by some centripetal force he, my future husband, (also alone) found me. He came up behind me to view the painting as well. We proceeded to have a brief two to three sentence discussion about the art and then I went on my way to discover more.

Three years later, when we reconvened Stateside, this time as a couple he presented me with a tube. And in that tube was a copy of the painting. That he remembered was touching, that he took the time to search, find, and purchase it was and is love.

(I searched for an hour and cannot find it, please check back)

Drink

I have never been a big drinker. This fact is not based on principle, religion, creed, sexual orientation, holistic or nutritional values, socio-economic status or a lack of trying. I am not a big drinker because I have not found a large number of palatable options.

First and foremost, I hate beer. There is something about hops, barley, and the fermenting process all rolled into one that does not appeal to me.

Second, I do drink wine, but my favorites have titles like “Jammin’ Strawberry” and “Radical Raspberry”. These are hardly reputable sources. The strawberry bottle even comes complete with a picture of a huge strawberry on the label. The winery does this for reasons twofold: one, to really bring home the point that what I am about to purchase is not really wine and two, to thoroughly embarrass me and anyone who dares bring a bottle to the liquor store counter.

The first time I became truly inebriated. I was in clubbing in Madrid, Spain and drinking a large quantity of screwdrivers. At first blush that statement may sound slightly glamorous. Then you take into account that I was on a trip with my college singing troupe and that the drink itself is mostly orange juice. There is more to the story involving blacking out, walking through a park in the middle of the night and locking myself in my hotel bathroom, but I digress.

I was around 25 when I discovered the wonderful Martini and joined the world of adult drinkers. I have finally found a drink I can order at restaurants (I have yet to find Jammin’ Strawberry on any wine list). Martini’s are so important they even have a glass named after them. It is a very shapely sophisticated glass- everyone knows that I am a fancy adult whenever I am holding one.

This weekend go out and have a wonderful and tasty Martini. Just do not raise your glass. They may be fancy, but the glass was not meant for toasting, raising, or generally moving unless it is to your lips. Fancy it may be, but practical it is not (unless you can afford to loose half of your $8 drink).

The Martini comes in a vast variety of flavors to suit your mood and will knock you on your ass faster than any beer I know. A fact that somehow makes me feel that even though I may not be aligned with the majority of the consumers of alcohol in my dislike of beer, my drink is tougher, despite the fancy glass and fruit garnish.

Personal Recommendations: Strawberry Martini with a splash of champagne, Pomegranate Martini (with fruit compote), and a Lemon Drop Martini

Listen

You would think this was an appropriate post because Valentine's Day is this weekend. In reality I am fuming mad at my significant other at the moment. Marital bliss aside, this is a great song.



Artist: John Legend
Song: Stay With You
Album: Get Lifted

Do

In more ways than one I could be considered a late bloomer in life.

It was up until my early twenties that I relied on my ‘natural beauty’ to carry me through in life. Unfortunately, nature may have outweighed beauty on more than one occasion. I am sure nature would have appreciated a little effort on my part in washing my hair more than twice in a week; even showering after every volleyball practice would have been an improvement I am sure. I did at least shave during my high school years, but I have to be honest and admit that even now that act can be sporadic at times.

It was not until my mid-twenties that I started using make-up in earnest, on the surface -literally- I figured that if I knew that I did not know what I was doing in the make-up and hair department then I had better just steer clear of it all. You can see plenty of disasters around and I did not want to be the girl who came in orange every day. At the real root of it all was the fact that I have always had a very strong sense of who I am as a person. I was afraid that if I plucked my eyebrows, dyed my hair, and covered myself in make-up that I would lose that person, oddly enough for a teenager I really liked who that person was.

I had various interventions from well-meaning, and those I am convinced were not so well–meaning, friends. One painstakingly plucked each one of my eyebrows and one made me look like a 1970’s country singer, yet somehow her make-up always came out as natural and perfect as Gwyneth Paltrow holding her Oscar.

I did eventually catch on. I proudly shower on a regular basis now and I get my eyebrows professionally waxed by a women I am convinced is a true artist. My hair stylist is also fabulous and talented. I am sure she wishes I would visit more than twice a year though. With age I have learned that ‘enhancements’ are ok.

Experimenting with hair color and contouring with make-up make me feel good inside. I have not fallen into the trap of having to do it every day, but it does feel nice to go out and feel like the whole package is working or walk into a meeting with an extra boost of confidence. Even if it does take a push-up bra and a pair of spanks.

In short, go out and buy yourself a flat iron, round brush, and styling lotion. Buy the make-up for the smoky eye and the gloss for sexy lips. I endorse it all. As long as you can still feel like you when it is all off, even if it is not the sexed up glammed up Adriana Lima version of you.